Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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