eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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