Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
