She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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