i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
