some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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