if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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