are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
