Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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