you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
