yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
