Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
