have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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