Fuck appropriateness.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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