A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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