is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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