i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
