just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
