I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
