shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
