This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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