if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
