I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
