Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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