Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
