i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
