I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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