I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
