We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
