So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
