Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
