You made me cry and you don't even care
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
