let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm like, not good at living.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
