I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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