Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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