Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
