You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
