Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
God gave him joint rollers for hands
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
