I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
