The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
