That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
