I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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