So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
