Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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