wake up i wanna do it froggy style
People in love make me want to vomit
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
