I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
