yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
