and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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