Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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