I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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