Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
